The Safeness of Community

As we continue our look at biblical community, I ran across this true story in a book called Why Small Groups? and I hope it encourages and challenges you as much as it did for me!

One day I was sitting in a church office as four of us on staff concluded a business meeting. As we got up to leave, I simply said, “I need to let you guys know what is going on in my heart.” That’s all it took to get the process underway.

Less than a month earlier we had buried an eight-year old boy who had died of cancer. Matt had been more than a church member; he was a friend to me and my family. I had been feeling a heaviness—a sadness—since then, and I wasn’t sure its source was pure, or that I was handling it correctly. Though it seems obvious now, I couldn’t tell what was going on in my heart.

My friends listened quietly as I groped to explain myself. But they didn’t just comfort me. They asked probing questions surrounding issues of self-pity, worry and a prideful sense of responsibility. It took courage to ask such questions of someone struggling with the sadness I faced, but those questions needed asking, and I didn’t know enough at the time to ask them myself.

When my friends were done, I knew someone understood me—and not just in an emotional sense. They had helped me explore my soul. Their counsel? Watch out for certain temptations, but mainly, you’re grieving, John. The sadness you feel is a normal part of the painful losses we experience in life.

Did sadness leave on that day? Did I walk out of that office on clouds of joy? No. But three other men were now carrying my burden, and I left with a much lighter load.

We need to communicate the burdens of trials. Not just the external challenges of losing a job or enduring an illness, but the inner conflicts as well. We also need to communicate the burdens of fears, which are often embarrassing but can rule our souls. What a tragedy when the burdens of Christians weigh them down because they neglected to receive help through fellowship! [1]

What a great story of biblical fellowship! May the Holy Spirit help us to listen and ask probing questions so that we can get to the heart of one another and thus fulfill the law of Christ. May the Holy Spirit show us our need for others and empower us to live honestly confessing our inner struggles to them.

[1] Why Small Groups, edited by C.J. Mahaney, PDI Communications, pp. 26-27.